I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
