every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
