I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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