well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
