Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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