Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
