So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
