I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
