Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
