In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
