I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
