You're so nebulous sometimes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
