i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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