allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
