i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
