I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
