we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
