dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
