Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
