I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I sprained my soul last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
