When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
