What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
