First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
