You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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