Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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