jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
