Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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