conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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