we have pet lesbian snakes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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