Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
