I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
