im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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