I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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