I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
