yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
