Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
