Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
