Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
