Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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