I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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