yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
