hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
