Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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