last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
