How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
