drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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