did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
love makes seman taste better
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
