Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
