Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
