sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
