How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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